Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do we often have strong feelings for our twin flames, even if they don't feel the same way? Is there a way to make them realize their true feelings for us?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Jordan Ott hiring strengthens questions on Suns’ decision-making tree - Arizona Sports

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why is every human messed up in some way?

I see through liars

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I actually pay taxes

Hypertension: New drug shows strong results in managing blood pressure - Medical News Today

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy bullshit

How do you say "I don't speak Italian yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn Italian with you. Would you like to teach me Italian?" in Italian?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Cliffhanger's Black Panther game reportedly would have built upon the famously patented Nemesis System - Rock Paper Shotgun

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Steelers players defend attending Trump rally at U.S. Steel plant: 'I'm not apologetic about that' - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Gotham TV Awards: ‘Adolescence,’ ‘The Pitt’ & ‘The Studio’ Among Big Winners - Deadline

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Webb Captures a Cosmic Forest of Ancient Galaxies - PetaPixel

I can read

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Gold Holds Decline After US Jobs Data Deters Demand for Havens - Bloomberg

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Amazon planning $10B investment in North Carolina for data center and AI campus - AP News

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have a reading level above third grade

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fakery